Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just high enough for therapy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
