It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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