I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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