I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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