This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
