i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just pee around me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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