So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
