God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize