for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
