She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
