I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
