how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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