Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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