clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
