at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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