she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
