one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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