I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
false alarm, still single
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
