So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
