Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
