I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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