I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
