Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
