dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
