he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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