I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
