Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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