shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize