my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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