You work out of a Hotel?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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