what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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