so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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