This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
