forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he puts the penis in happiness.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
