Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
