garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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