What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
