Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
