every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
