let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
