He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
