4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
