The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
