4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My dick has a subreddit
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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