Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
