The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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