Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
