everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
