You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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