To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
