He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
