We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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