it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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