dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize