So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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