okay pat passed out under dana's car
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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