A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
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