Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
