meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need a beard to bite.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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