his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
