Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
