Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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