and you said cock pushups were impossible
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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