just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
