i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im holly from the hills drunk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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