I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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