her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
May the power of my ass compel you!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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